Some of those cords you’re cutting may have been tied on by you.
Read that again.
Sometimes you’ve attached that tether to yourself during the period that the relationship was active because of either your affection for the person, or because you projected onto that person having seen some behavior you may have engaged in at an earlier period in time that you are now repulsed by and in your revulsion to that person’s actions, you formed an attachment to that energy.
People come in at least two or three times a week asking how to perform a cord cutting, we go through the ABC’s and 123’s of the how and what to look for etc… Then generally there’s a conversation and it often becomes clear the attachment either goes both ways, or is one-sided and not always the side for which the appeal to cut has been made, but rather the attachment to the energy is coming from the cutter. If the person seems receptive to the idea that much of the problem is with them (i.e. embedded in their psyche) we will attempt to point out tools to help them engage with the shadow self and root out the issue to examine it and take personal responsibility for the attachment and this process dissolves the cord.
Oftentimes as it were, we are human and convinced that the problem is coming from another source, we generally reject that we are hurting ourselves, it’s just like the addict who gets a dopamine rush (the feels) from the hit and just keeps coming back no matter how badly the drug is hurting the rest of the body. The mind is a powerful thing, it can convince us of anything, did you know the sky is not blue? The mind tells you it is, but it is only a reflection of the oceans and seas, it’s the Earth’s atmosphere and a process called ‘scattering’. This is why it seems much more blue by the sea where the sun is brighter. It's a very amplified reflection! We see dogs, cats, dolphins, dragons and faces in the sky, our brains cause that also, this is known as Pareidolia. The brains can also cause us to smell colors, or feel cold where there is heat and vice versa.
The brain can also be a superpower, consider the monks who raise their body temperatures in extreme cold while covered by wet sheets, causing the sheets to dry out! Using a yoga technique known as g Tum-mo, they entered a state of deep meditation. Other monks soaked 3-by-6-foot sheets in cold water (49 degrees) and placed them over the meditators’ shoulders. For untrained people, such frigid wrappings would produce uncontrolled shivering. Meditation changes temperatures William J. Cromie
The mind is a powerful thing, it is also a well-known trickster, you literally have a Coyote living in your head that loves to play with your perceptions. So how do you know when it’s tricking you or protecting you? Investigation, self-reflection, examination, questioning.
- Am I really seeing this, is Jesus actually standing on that cloud?
- Is this really helping me, list the pros and cons of whatever method you’re using to feel better; weight gain or loss, memory gain or loss, bone gain or loss, friends gain or loss…
- Are they working magic against me, or am I just constantly thinking about them because we have an unresolved issue? Try talking to them and face to face is always better because then you can read their body language The definitive body language guide on reading other people
- Am I obsessed with them? This is the big one and most of the time the case, point and fact. (It happens to all of us at one time or another, don’t beat yourself up, you’re human)
- Every time you find yourself thinking of someone who you are sure is sending you ill will, write it down and then investigate, do you have instances of family and friends coming to you saying he/she said X about you? Do you see rumors about you circulating on social media that are untrue? Are odd objects showing up at your home, workplace, or near your car? Do people really move away and seem to whisper about you in corners of your office building, at the bar, in the church or temple you attend, at parties, or is that just your insecurity? Walk up to them and see how they respond to you and watch their body language, open body and eyes turned toward you indicate that they actually like you, see what happens!
At the end of the day, the best medicine is knowledge and the big GET here is; Not everyone is going to like you, you will not vibe with all of them and that’s okay, don’t let them live rent free in your head. You do not have to take drastic measures to remove a person from your life, if you’re truly in control, you can just walk away and still feel like a whole person. As I always say, People gonna People, let them!
Yours in peace and sanity,
Tay